An Invitation: From a secret notebook to sacred ceremonies. A Story of Curiosity, Consciousness & Connection

When Bailey from Rooted Expansion asked me to share a story about myself—something personal that connects me to the work I also offer through Rooted Expansion—I found myself tracing the roots of my path, and a particular memory from my childhood came alive.

Back in the late 80s, as a curious young child, I found myself strangely fascinated by the world of altered consciousness. Secretly, and with a sense of guilt I didn’t yet understand, I began collecting brochures, articles, and booklets about drugs and substances—whatever I could find in libraries or at drug prevention centers. It felt forbidden, even though I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I simply had questions no one around me seemed to be asking.

I hid my notes in a secret compartment in my desk. I remember reading about heroin, opium, psilocybin, amphetamines, marijuana—curious not out of rebellion, but from a deep desire to understand how these substances could shift perception, alter awareness, and unlock different states of being. Even reading harsh warning stories like Christiane F. didn’t scare me—it only deepened my fascination.

I remember that when I was about 9 years old, during one of the typical childhood illnesses, I had such a high fever that I could see the vastness of the universe. My perception of time and space completely changed. I asked my parents questions they couldn't answer. Perhaps this experience also fueled my curiosity

Years later, I began experimenting with the age of 14. I explored many substances, always with a strong intuitive sense of timing, dosage, and setting. Most of my experiences were not reckless, but rather deeply expansive. Still, I would not recommend this path to anyone without guidance. I had no mentors—just friends, equally new to these landscapes. And while I was fortunate to have mostly positive experiences, it was not without risk.

(I do not advise anyone to follow the path I once took. I've witnessed individuals spiral into psychosis, and tragically, some have lost their lives. What I share here is merely a personal account, not a suggestion to emulate.)

By my early thirties, I began to feel the shadow side of this long journey—patterns that were no longer healthy, and a quiet voice within that said, It’s time for something else.

And then… life led me to the Amazon. How life let me to to the Peruvian Amazon is a different story ;-)

At age 33 in 2015, I arrived in the Peruvian jungle and encountered the Shipibo healers for the first time. I committed to three months at an Ayahuasca center (Temple of the way of light), drinking the medicine weekly.

For the first time, I was surrounded by shipibo elders who knew the terrain of altered states—who carried ancient knowledge, who could open doors safely and walk beside you through the unknown.

It felt like I had finally come home.

Everything I had experienced before had, in some mysterious way, prepared me for this. And yet, I must say: I don’t recommend my path. It was wild and intuitive, and while I was protected in ways I can’t fully explain, many are not so lucky. These medicines and realms are powerful, and guidance is not a luxury—it’s essential.

Since that moment in January 2015, I’ve spent the past ten years mainly living in Peru, nine of those in close apprenticeship with selected Shipibo teachers. I’ve been invited into their ways of seeing, healing, and holding space.

This has brought me clarity, purpose, a new professional path—and, perhaps most importantly, a deep sense of meaning and universal understanding.

I feel truly honored to have been welcomed into this lineage and to walk alongside these ancient wisdom keepers.

Never would I have imagined, as that child hiding notes in a drawer, that this would become my vocation—or my calling.

Today, I offer mentorship and guidance for those walking their own path of transformation—whether before, during, or after deep journeys of consciousness expansion.

The doors of perception open us to vast inner worlds, and the process of integration is as vital as the experience itself. Confusion, doubt, disorientation, or a sense of being lost—these are often sacred thresholds, not signs that something is wrong.

On the other side, we may find clarity, truth, connection, and deep love.

A new inner compass can be developed with greater clarity to guide you more authentically through life.

The journey toward truth, self-liberation, and authentic living is one we need not take alone. In fact, I believe we are meant to walk much of it in community, with honest mirrors and resonant support.

This is why I do what I do.

If you feel the call to explore—consciousness, your patterns, your deeper purpose—I invite you to journey with me. Whether you're engaging with plant medicines or simply sensing that something in your life is shifting, our work together can be a space of reflection, integration, remembrance, and growth.

We can go far and deep without ever taking a substance—because the gateway is within.

Our sensitivities, our subtle awareness, our capacity to feel and perceive—these are the true medicines.

You're invited, just as you are.

Meet me in 1:1 sessions—there are also special package offers if you’d like to work and play with me on a more continuous basis.

And if you feel the call, join our True Journey Master Plant Retreats in Peru, check out our website or sent an email to me!

With a lot of love and gratitude,

Ute