There are different levels of "understanding"
True understanding includes compassion and empathy.
In this text I share about understanding as an element in relationship.
I talk from the angle of: I want to understand the “WE” and I want to create a “WE”.
It is good to inquiry. What is your intention? Do you want to understand the other? Do you want to understand self? To you want to create a “WE” experience?
We can understand mentally concepts. This includes that we have a knowing about certain patterns, we see the root causes, we are aware about consequences, we are able to connect and identify certain protector and coping mechanisms. We feel we understand a certain person. We might understand the coherence and causality.
This mental understanding is great to analyze.
The big trap can be that we create structures based on our own experiences which we project on the other in order to understand, in order to confirm the own view/opinions, in order to feed our own ego, in order to be right, in order to feel superior, protect self, to feel safe,.. etc..
We can miss out seeing the person truly and purely for who she/he is because of our created ideas about the other. Our own believes and filters can create illusions and we repeat “old stories”.
This situation is happening all the time to most of the humans.
Our mind and our ego can play tricky games.
It can be quite confusing to find out what is the truth if we just operate from this mental level of understanding.
This level of understanding might feel very shallow for people who operate and live on a deeper layer of feeling and resonance. A person whos heart and mind is connected includes naturally deeper resonance in the understanding process.
For this people it is about “being understood” for all participants. They operate from a conscious level of “WE”.
You feel the connection, you feel the love and feel the resonance in your heart.
Everyone who is involved feels the level of understanding. There is conscious vibration and information flow. There is a connection happening for everyone.
One interesting indicator is, if there is one person who thinks he/she understand but there are other people who don´t feel understood, this is a clear sign that the deeper layer of conscious understanding is not reached. Stay all tuned and check in with each other what the experience is for each one.
If there is true understanding happening, everyone knows and everyone can feel it.
The result is a sense of peace, love and connection. I don´t talk about agreements, I talk about the resonance of deep understanding.
Feeling seen, feeling heard, feeling felt are basic qualities in this process of true understanding.
There is a deep level of compassion involved, which goes more far then “I feel you or I feel your suffering”. It combines understanding, sense of truth, understanding and empathy.
We are human beings and our power and consciousness grows and expands if we intergrate our different wisdom areas and connections. When all our channels become more open we reach a level of deeper understanding where the mental understanding, the compassionate understanding, a resonance of truth and the depth of our heart is involved.
We only can offer to others what we learnt in ourselves.
We only can offer a deep understanding to others if we have integrated or are in the process of integrating this depth in our our system.
We can not just talk about it, we need to learn to feel this energy and the field in itself.
Often we learn this in both directions, as the magic of reflections and mirroring helps our consciousness to expand if we are able to digest truth.
There is a quote from A.H. Almaas, who says the suffering is a result of the lies, denials and false beliefs which we developed. True deep understanding might be painful because the lies get pocked and penetrated. Our defense can harden in this process.
When we become able to break through truth will appear.
We can`t force that in ourselves nor in others but we can give it our awareness and practice in our daily life.
We can practice in our own inquiries and in relationship with others to create a container where we invite and remember each other that there are different layers of understanding. In reflection with another person we can ask if the other person feels understood.
We can train and learn to connect our mental, our heart and our more expanded senses of understanding in order to create a conscious field of being understood in a WE context.
Truth, understanding, compassion and empathy in a WE and collective field gets very powerful.
Test the results for yourself.
The experience of separated understanding might be only understanding own thoughts and concepts or feeding the own ego. Shared and connected understanding creates a field of being and experiencing wholeness.
Find open people who are open and curious to learn, heal and be with you. This can be very playful, loving and expanding.
Thank you for reading. Sending much love!
I love to continue my learning and I´m grateful for people who want to learn together with me.
In personal relationships with friends/partners/lovers/family members is always brings different oportunities up than when I work with clients.
In both contexts what I wrote here counts for me.
I´m starting to offer a Facilitator Training Program: A space holder training program.
Write to me if you are interested in learning more about it.