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Ute

"The more we die the more we live. The more we live the more we die."


I heard A.H.Almaas saying that and I am often thinking about that.

There are many different ways I can understand that and see appearing this quote.


How often did I take a leap of faith and make a decision where I had no idea if it would work out? Will I feel fully alive afterwards or will I die? When I say that, I mean a part of myself could die.

Many times.

Often I knew I had to do something to choose life and myself.

Often I "died" afterward as I felt so broken, disappointed, hurt etc..


Sometimes "new life" was created. New life forces and energies started to flow through my life and lifted me up to new possibilities.

I found new potential, new inspiration, and a new way of living, enjoying, and being in awe about life and all the potential that is given to us.

Often when we choose "aliveness", it also means to choose the risk to die.


Risk of being hurt, the risk of being disappointed, the risk of losing money, the risk of losing people, the risk of feeling lost, the risk of being alone, the risk of losing sense, the risk of losing hope, the risk of losing everything (?), the risk of losing the status quo, the risk of losing respect from others.... and so on.


For me, there are these decisions that are visible on the outside as moving to a different country, starting a company, moving to the other end of the world, buying a house, starting a new project, quitting a job .. etc.

These are these recognized big decisions where you could create more energies that are alive, support life, and create life qualities or it can go into a direction where you feel that you failed, your visions are dying, you feel hurt, disappointed, and so on... An ego death etc might appear, and if we are ready for a shift, we experience a rebirth of a much more aligned, mature, and healthy self.


Honestly, there are many smaller decisions on a daily base that are happening all the time where I feel this quote. All these little moments when I choose life when I choose integrity and authenticity versus "safety" and comfort.


"The more I live, the more I die. The more I die, the more I live.".


For example telling a man that I love him, even though I know his feelings are different. Showing up vulnerable towards someone where I feel the person can´t respond to me in a way I would need or wish.

Last year I chose to have a break of one year where I don´t offer any True-Journey retreats. The way I sometimes respond to people could make them take some distance from myself.

Allowing myself to show sometimes my emotions to others, even if this might seem confusing, but it is the way how I feel.


Admitting that I have no answer, admitting that I don´t know, admitting that I have doubt, even if these are fields where other people expect me to have clarity.

Sometimes it is even harder to admit to myself that I don´t know or that I have doubts about something I would like to keep things clear.


Today I have a day where I had some free space to be. No online clients and no other matters that pressure me to do it right today.

This gratitude and warm energy came up inside of me for all these moments I was dying or some parts of me were dying but then again finding even more life energy after recovering.

Sometimes to recover to come to the place where is new life - fully alive energy with all new upgrades needs a little bit.

Sometimes it is right there.

Life and Death. Transformation flows its own way and in its own rhythm.

It is about surrendering into the dance and reciprocity of what the universe and surroundings offer.


Thank you for reading!!


Next week I go into the 2024 True - Journey Retreat groove.

I feel lucky to have so many wonderful souls showing up for the 14 day jungle retreat and the 28 ocean retreat in Peru.


Would I have been able to die and live and live and die so many times without the wisdom of the Plants and Shipibo Maestros I work with??


I don´t know as I don´t know how my life would be without these Sacred Plant Helpers.


Learning about life and cultivating a spiritual connection can be profound sources of strength during challenging times. This self-awareness and spirituality can provide a sense of purpose, inner peace, and resilience.


I always had a sense of Self-awareness regarding my values, Life purpose, Creating spaces to experience inner Peace, positive belief systems to have Resilience, Connection through nature and spirit, and Trust in the universe...


The work with my Shipibo Teachers and Healers and the plants they offered to me definitely supported me immensely. I can not imagine that I would be in my life where I am without that. I feel very grateful for that path and support.

I can´t wait for the time when I go into my next SAMA. This is a very nice feeling, as over the last years I have become more dedicated just to living life. I feel soon there it is time to dive again deeper into the world of SAMA. I just need to be a little patient. :-)


Embracing who you are and honoring all the moments of life and death can be a powerful journey of transformation.


"The more you live the more you die. The more you die, the more you live."

Thank you to A.H.Almaas for this quote.


Pure evolvement with this perspective - consciousness is alive - our soul is flowing through life and space ?


The more we live, the easier to die?

The more we face death, the easier to live?


I think Ayahuasca can teach us more about that.

"The vine of the death", translated from the Quechua language.


Let´s learn and grow together and create supportive oportunities to live life fully.

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