Coming Home to Self - only possible when I acknowledge that „I´m nature“
- Ute
- Aug 2
- 11 min read
Hello everyone,
Coming home to ourselves. Feeling safe within ourselves. Feeling at home in ourselves.
I deeply know that this is one of the most important experiences we can have in this time and in the world we are living in today.
There is one thing I keep noticing—while observing myself, while observing others, and while observing us collectively. Whenever I become aware of it, I consciously practice letting it go and choosing a different perspective.
It is the experience of separation.
The separation from ourselves.
The separation from nature.
Yet...
We are nature.
I am nature.
It is not that the forest is nature and I am not. It is not that the plants are nature and I somehow stand outside of it.
I often hear people say, "Go into nature." I say it too. Of course, what we usually mean is: go to the forest, go to the river, spend time outside, reconnect.
But our language quietly reveals something much deeper.
It suggests that nature is somewhere over there.
That we leave ourselves behind, go somewhere else, and then enter nature.
To me, this reflects one of the deepest splits we carry.
We unconsciously believe that I am human and that is nature.
And I believe this separation creates enormous pain. It creates disconnection. It creates dissociation. And, to me, it is profoundly misleading.
For the last eleven years, I have consciously been learning with the Shipibo people here in Peru. Although I have worked with master plants since I was a teenager, it is especially these years of dieta, living and learning within the Shipibo tradition, that have shaped my understanding.
I feel deep gratitude for the ancestors who carried this wisdom through generations—for preserving the medicine, the Icaros, and a way of relating to life that allows all of us to continue learning from it today.
Through every dieta, every ceremony, every encounter with Ayahuasca and the tree medicines, one teaching has returned again and again.
Everything I experience is already within me.
It is part of me, and I am part of it.
The openings the Sacred Plants gave me never felt, to me, as though the teachings came from something outside of me. In my first years of dieting, around 2016 and 2018, I sometimes questioned why other people see the plant spirits as something outside of them. For me, the wisdom which opened up always arose in a sense of "oneness".
Very often I hear people say,
"Ayahuasca told me this."
"This plant told me that."
I completely understand what they mean.
Yet my own experience has always been different.
I never experienced the plants as something separate from myself.
Everything I learned through them always felt like remembering something that was already there.
As if the plants were not placing wisdom into me, but helping me uncover what had always lived within me or in the here and now as something integrated, not separated.
For me, this is one of the deepest forms of healing.
Not receiving something from outside.
Remembering what was never separate.
Because I don't believe there is separation.
I believe it is the human thinking mind that separates.
The thinking mind creates divisions. The mind and Ego parts can believe that the consciousness of a plant exists independently from our own consciousness.
I want to be clear, my experience has been and still is different.
Everything belongs to one living field. There are life-supportive energies, frequencies, and spirits, and there are not directly supportive energies, frequencies, and spirits. All that exists and is flowing through one big field.
There are many creations of different algorithms depending on what you bring in, where you go through, and what is connected to you. Some shifts need clear conscious intention and attention to shift and create new connections and new guidance, and some of the restructuring and reorganizing happens without our conscious awareness.
We are all nature, we are all part of the multidimensional universe.
Our ties, connections, pathways, thresholds, angles we are able to see, feel, hear, and experience are all different. All of that is okay and good as it is.
We are like a wave and many waves belong to the ocean.
The wave can never truly be separated from the ocean.
When I experience myself and each living being in this way—as one wave in one vast ocean—a deep sense of healing happens naturally.
A feeling of home.
Of coming home.
Of simply being home.
And for me, the plants are extraordinary teachers of this remembrance.
I don't say they are the only teachers. I say Masterplants are incredibly wonderful teachers to show us the connections in the universe, nature, and our human experience.
Plants are bridges in between many living beings, elements, flows of energy, and nourishment on the physical level. Can you see what I mean? For this reason they can teach us in immense ways to remember the interconnectedness and importance of how we all are part of one big organism and have influence on everything.
I feel only with this awareness we truly can feel love and feel home in our true self.
Many people find this same opening through meditation, prayer, silence, movement, breath, or many other paths into the vast field of consciousness and oneness with nature.
Working with the plants has continuously reminded me to see truly... the integration in life I have to experience through living my life. This is an ongoing, interesting process. Enjoying life, being sensitive, open, and finding strength to continue without shutting down for too long.....
Only if I learn to see myself as nature, only from here can I begin to understand what love actually is. A field of oneness and wholeness.
Not as an idea. But as something experienced. An energy which is alive.
I believe that this is not a permanent state. We are human. We learned to separate. Sometimes separation protects us. These patterns carry an intelligence which I don't want to ignore.
We learned to protect ourselves with separation. We learned to experience life through duality for some reasons. All of that is real and sometimes necessary.
Sometimes our individuality is necessary. I am not denying any of that.
It is part of being human to experience separation, and it gives it a different quality in life when we are aware when we are in separation and when we are in the experience of being nature.
What I am pointing towards, too, is simply the remembering of the truth deeply down in the root from where life is coming from: we are nature.
Remembering how it feels to come back to this deeper place of awareness and knowing of oneness and interconnectedness.
Remembering that, underneath every story we tell ourselves, is a field of connection and belonging which lies further and deeper than our minds can grasp.
I am nature. I am the elements.....
I believe it is only when we allow ourselves to feel that we belong to all of life—to the earth, the air, the water, the fire, the minerals, every living being—that we can truly create from a place of connection and wholeness.
From a place of pure love.
I am certainly not living in this awareness all the time. Most of the time, I am not there. AND I know this place exists, and I know how it feels, and I know that I have access. It is super meaningful for me to be aware when I am in separation and when I am in oneness.
I want to keep remembering. I want us to remind one another.
That, for me, is one of the greatest gifts of this path. We are nature, the Masterplants, and we as humans are great teachers and guides to help each other remember and to help us shift our consciousness, so we are able to be in that consciousness of "We are nature."
This is the key to truly loving and creating a life in our full potential which is good and healthy for all.
I feel this is an important start and a good direction.
No expectations. Your trust is needed!
At the same time, I want to be very clear.
I cannot tell you what your experience will be if you choose to join one of our retreats, create a private group with us, come for a 1:1 retreat, or go on an adventure with my 1:1 mentoring offer.
I don't want to create the expectation that by joining a retreat or working with me one-to-one, you will automatically experience oneness, wholeness, or the feeling that I am one with nature, we are all one, and that everything will simply feel blissful, beautiful, aligned, and full of connection.
No.
Very often, when we say yes to this work, everything that stands in the way of remembering comes to the surface.
The pain of our own lives.
The pain carried by our ancestors.
The pain of the collective.
The wounds that taught us to separate.
The patterns that taught us to protect ourselves.
All of this may arise.
And most of the time it doesn't feel comfortable.
It can be painful.
It can be confusing.
It can bring emotions and experiences that deeply disturb us because they reflect something back to us that we may never have consciously looked at before.
This doesn't only happen during ceremony.
It doesn't only happen during a retreat.
Very often the real work continues afterwards—while simply living life.
Our challenges might come in mysterious ways, even when it is not clear why this is happening "to me." Here is the first invitation: believing that all is happening FOR me (not "to me"), even if in the moment it does not feel that way.
Very clearly I fully trust that if you show up with a clear, deep-rooted intention, life will guide and move you towards the experience of "true nature," oneness with nature, the elements... and the real experience of "I am home in myself and I love."
Because when our intention is sincere—when we truly show up—life-supportive energies and intelligence have an incredible way of teaching us.
The universe has an incredible way of showing us where the next step is.
All of that might happen on a very different timeline than you are expecting. This is, for some people, the biggest challenge: to trust that there is healing and learning happening in its own divine timing.
When you work with people who are aligned with life-supportive universal forces, there is a certain organic algorithm which starts to flow and will guide you towards life-supportive energy fields. You need to show up fully and step into the field.
No one can do the work for you, make your decisions, and take the pain away. You need to step up and in. This needs a readiness to surrender to deep trust, as the real growth, including the vastness of the universe, is more than your thinking, rational mind can understand.
I don't know much about time perceptions. The timelines are an interesting thing. The more I surrender to the vastness of time concepts, the more vast and spacious it becomes. The more I know that our linear timeline is only a small form of perception.
What I know is that certain things click together in their own time. New organic algorithms are happening in their own bigger movements. I know that certain connections, with the help of Sacred Plants, Shamans, other life-supportive energies, and intelligences, for sure help with the guidance and how we can contribute to be part of a conscious creation.
For some people, new doors and evolvements happen quite fast, their lives change quickly, new doors open up one after the other, and it seems an energy, full potential, and connections stream into their lives in almost visibly strong ways.
For others, it unfolds differently and it seems things take more time. Or there are more tests, challenges, or obstacles we need to pass. Over years. Over decades. Maybe even over generations.
I can't know how your journey unfolds. Best if you have no expectations besides the strong will and feeling that you are ready to show up.
Trust in something bigger is important to give you the resilience and wider seeing if difficulties come up.
If we continue showing up with a genuine intention, I believe—or better said, I deeply know—that we naturally move toward wholeness.
Towards realizing and integrating that I am made of the same elements as everything around me. That there is a deeper connection to all that is nature and that I am safe in that in a deeper sense.
My decisions are part of everything and have a much bigger influence than I might be aware of. Just as every wave matters and creates a movement in the big ocean.
Every person's rhythm of how and when to integrate consciousness and awareness into daily life is different, as each of our lives has different blessings and challenges.
Life unfolds in its own algorithms.
Neither is better. Neither is wrong.
Important is that we are connected to a deep trust that there are life-supportive energies, spirits, however you see it, which offer us guidance.
The Masterplants can help us to open the doors to all of these deeper understandings and rooted knowledge which is lying in the consciousness of deep shamanism and profound healer lineages.
I also want to say again something that feels important to me.
I don't believe that we, as human beings, permanently live in the awareness of oneness.
I don't believe that once we experience it, we remain there forever.
We are human.
We have a human mind.
We have learned separation.
We have learned protection.
We experience ourselves as individuals.
That, too, is part of reality. For me, this is totally okay.
I enjoy this human experience mostly. This life is precious, and it is so much more interesting when we realize in which moment we live from the separated place and when it is time to move into the expanded place: "I'm nature. We are nature. I'm a wave in the ocean. We are a wave in the ocean."
We all carry spirit.
We are all connected to something infinitely greater than anything our minds can fully understand.
Perhaps we sense it.
Perhaps we catch glimpses of it.
Perhaps we experience it differently.
And all of that is welcome.
My invitation is not that we all have the same experience.
It is simply that we remember.
That we return, again and again, to the bigger knowing and that we create a bigger network together. That we remember the depth of our prayers and intentions.
And from that place, we create.
From that place, we make decisions.
From that place, we meet one another.
From that place, we create a field of consciousness that is rooted in the remembrance that none of us has ever truly been separate from nature and its wisdom.
This is the path I feel deeply called to walk with each person who feels a resonance and wants to show up.
Whether through a retreat. Through one-to-one mentoring. Through a private group or private 1:1 retreats. Or in whatever form feels right.
I don't have your answers. I cannot make your decisions. I cannot remove your pain.
And you cannot walk my path for me either.
My intention is to offer space and reflect back to you, so you can learn and remember to see and experience your true nature.
I´m inspirit to create space where each who feels the call can meet to learn and heal together. We can create a network to witness each other and to create spaces together where we weave our intentions together to create wholeness. This in itself is encouragement.
That is exactly what allows us to keep walking when we would otherwise stop.
Where we remember together.
I also feel called to offer regular sharing circles—simple spaces where we can come together, listen, reflect, and support one another as fellow human beings walking this path. You just need to reach out. As soon as we have some people, we create these online circles.
There are periods in life when solitude nourishes us. There is the need to be with our own sensations, feelings, emotions, and to connect deeply with Self Energy.
And there are times when we need community, a network to reflect, to be seen, heard, and acknowledged.
To move healing, the movement towards wholeness, into a higher frequency to grow and develop together, we need to acknowledge the space where we are witnessed and where we witness others to create a strong field in the collective. Energies move to form structures, and we are part of creating certain structures in the collective.
These fields support us, encourage us, and help us remember the wholeness of Nature, including each of us and all life.
We are not walking alone. Even if it can feel like this sometimes.
That is the kind of space I feel deeply committed to continue creating.
For everyone who genuinely feels call
