Wanna know more about my journey and the story: How did it come that I moved to the Peruvian Amazon? Since I was a child, I have always been a curious person. I loved to explore new possibilities in life and enjoyed finding other perspectives. My first experience with psychoactive plants happened when I was 14 or 15 years old. At this time, I had a profound experience which I did not consciously choose, and a process I would not recommend. The sacred meaning of this first experience I couldn't understand right away. Some years were necessary for me to fully integrate the experience. Since then, I’ve felt drawn to explore this “other world". I started to grasp the idea that beneficial learning and healing can come through psychedelic experiences and other non-ordinary states of consciousness. I also learned that these experiences can be misleading if they are not in the right set and setting or not integrated in a proper way. Since that day, I’ve frequently used different types of psychedelic plants. It sparked my interest to explore other states of consciousness. However, I always missed having a kind of wisdom keeper, someone who could understand or confirm or translate my experiences. Unfortunately, there was no one to mentor me about these fascinating explorations I was making. So I had to process it by myself or share with my friends who, though they loved me and held space for me, were not really so spiritually learned themselves. When I was a young adult, I dreamt of an unconventional life for myself. I was frequently disappointed when I looked around at my conventional life. When I was twenty years old, after a very powerful dream, I realized that I needed to live my life more fully. I started to travel frequently for a couple of months at a time. This allowed me to explore and gain different perspectives. By my early 30's, I had “ticked many boxes” from different experiences I wanted to have. I'd lived in different places in the world, I'd traveled all over the world, I’d worked three years for a cruise ship company (besides my educational work), and I’d had beautiful long-term friendships and relationships. But I missed something inside of me. Today I know how disconnected I had been from my emotions and how unconscious patterns and coping mechanisms were driving me. My life was feeling increasingly turbulent. My relationships were no longer in balance. I felt overwhelmed by my emotions and I started to feel depressed. I observed that I had unhealthy habits and behaviors and I was not able to change them. Frustration with myself was increasing and made me doubt myself and my life. I had a nice flat in Berlin and a well-paid job in a therapeutic home for young adults, but all this didn’t feel aligned with me anymore. Since I was 14 years old, I was partying and using psychedelic substances with my friends. This never felt like a problem until I turned 31; then my inner structure collapsed and I had to admit to myself that I had a drug addiction. The extreme compulsive partying and using substances was an escape from my underlying pain and the feeling of being disconnected. Looking back, I see now that a lot of pain, a lot of past trauma, had started to sneak into my system in my late 20's. I wasn’t able to hold space for that, nor was I aware of what was happening inside of myself. Thus, at the age of 31, I found myself in a huge crisis. For the outside world, I was functioning well. This is what pushed me to look for truth. My suffering forced me to admit to myself that I wasn’t living in alignment with myself. My journey, my departure on my path of healing and transformation, started from this challenging time; this was my wake-up call. I left Berlin and my nice, cozy flat to go to Thailand to recalibrate. My plan was to stay there for two or three months. I ended up living on a beautiful island there for one year. I met very interesting people and I was able to begin my recovery. It was quite a challenging inner journey, and the most important of my life. As Jesus said, “If you know the truth, the truth will set you free.” It's about KNOWING the truth; it's not about understanding the truth mentally. It's about a profound experience of knowing, to feel it in the body and experience it on many levels. During this year of living in an abandoned hut without tap water or electricity, in the jungle in Thailand, a vision from Ayahuasca appeared to me during a meditation on my favorite big rock. I immediately felt a strong awareness that the work with Ayahuasca will be an essential part of my life. This led me, in January 2015, to Peru, where I worked at the "Temple of the Way of Light” as a volunteer for three months. This was a wonderful and deep starting point for me to experience the healing effect with the Shipibo Medicine. In 2015, I was immediately focused and committed to participating in Ayahuasca ceremonies guided by Shipibo shamans for several months. From the first moment, I wanted to learn more about the world which opens up through this work. My fascination grew even more when I participated in my first Master Plant Dieta in August 2015. The biggest shift in my life started when I finished my first Dieta with a certain big tree and the Shipibo Maestra Manuela Mahua in August 2016. After this Dieta, I was sure I wanted to put all the energy I have into this path of learning more with that specific tree and the Mahua Healer Lineage, and I decided to live in Peru. Many people whom I love doubted this decision and expected that after years of travel, I would let go of this lifestyle and choose the stability of my life in Germany. I had good job opportunities, a nice flat in Berlin, and friends there too. They wondered how I could leave all of this behind to follow my intuition and choose a path without materialistic security. Inside myself, I just knew there is something else that I needed to learn in the jungle with the Shipibo Shamans and the Trees. I felt that strong clear pull, and I knew it is the only right thing for me and my life. I'm so glad I followed that feeling. Honestly, looking back, I feel very proud of myself. Leaving Berlin, living one year on this island, after that following the guidance and coming to Peru was a big journey with many adventures, and immense trust was needed. Making money in that time to follow the path of learning and healing was a whole other journey which only a few people know ;-) Sometimes we are asked to listen deeply and trust, and to go totally into the unknown..... “Healing is the return of the memory of wholeness” (Deepak Chopra). Big THANK YOU to: My mother, who always believed in me. I learned so much through her trust in me – She always told me: "Ute, you can do that, I have no doubt. If someone can do that, then it is you". Danke Mama My father, who always creates space to listen to me. He always gives me advice. He puts energy into finding solutions. Even if my experience is foreign for him, he always tried to understand as best as he can. In whatever dark hole I found myself, I knew that I can reach out to him and he will listen. Danke Papa The plant energies and spirits who opened and continue to open so many doors for me. The guidance which comes through that is one of the biggest gifts in my life. Thank you for all my dietas which I did and I will do. My Shipibo Maestros and Maestras from the Mahua Lineage. I always felt guided and protected by the life-supportive energies. Only because of that I could continue this path. Irake. Thank you to the ancestors of my Shipibo Maestras/Maestros for keeping and transmitting the ancestral knowledge and connections with the plants and life-supportive energies of the universe. All my friends who are with me and who have been at my side for such a long time, even if we are living such different lifestyles today. My dear sisters and brothers who walk a similar path, it is so beautiful to share and support each other. All the people who have supported me and believed in me. Nature; the water, the wind, the earth, the minerals, the stones, the rocks, the ocean, my special beaches, my favorite island spirits, the fire, the mountains, and all the supportive animals. The cosmic universal wisdom, higher intelligence & light God, and all the light energies which flow and support the life-supportive organisms Many blessings to all of you, thank you for your interest and reading my story ;-)